Just Telling Our Story

Happy New Year! (Plus an accountability check!)

It's almost the new year, and it's time for resolutions...and a reality check.

I only made two resolutions last year: to keep in touch with all of my friends frequently and to invite people over to our house more often. I failed miserably at both.

And yet I feel the need to make more resolutions, and I'm asking for your help. I figure if I put them in writing and post them in a public place, maybe I'll be more likely to stick to them. Maybe. I'm hoping my readers, friends and clients will keep me in check. So don't be afraid to tap me on the shoulder (or send me a quick e-mail) a few times this year and see how I'm doing. I could use a little nudge every now and then, I'm sure.

Here goes.

I have a couple of work-related resolutions first and foremost:

1. Respond to referrals immediately. I tend to hold on to referrals too long, and I know that's not the smartest way to treat my business. These referrals are potentially small gold mines, and yet, I sometimes feel so rushed to get my deadline work done that I put them off until I have "more time." No more. I resolve to respond on the same day I receive them. BNI members, hold me to that!
2. Get over my nervousness of calling people for these referrals. I love e-mail. I lean on the fact that if I send my referrals an e-mail, they have an instant link to my Web site if they want to know more, plus they can read it if and when they feel like it. I don't like to receive cold calls, so I tend to be hesitant to make them. But, from a business stand point, it's probably smarter to pick up the phone and make a call. Let them hear my voice. Make them say no to me "in person." That's going to be a tough one for me!
3. Get up the nerve to change my rates and get paid what I'm worth. That means a pay raise, but likely losing a few of my smaller clients in the aftermath. But I have discovered that there are real, legitimate reasons freelancers charge so much. And I'm going to have to face that reality if I want to be able to continue this arrangement. I'm just not good at asking for more money! Never have been, never will be. (Don't panic, clients. This one will probably not come through!)

It's a little more fun to think about my personal resolutions. So here goes.

1. Scrapbook every single week. No more using Scrapbook Night for organizing or piddling around or just chatting with friends. I need to get down to business! I want to FINISH a layout every single week...preferably more than one, but that's too ambitious for reality. If I stick to it, I'll have 52 layouts by the end of the year. That'll put a small dent in my ever-growing list of "pages to do." Michele, Beth, Tara and Robin (and anyone else who's willing)...hold me to this!
2. Stay in touch with friends. I resolve to make at least one personal e-mail every week to a friend I don't see regularly. If I feel ambitious, maybe I'll even make a phone call...gasp! Seriously, I need to be better at this. Carrie & Doug, Becky, Kelly & Kevin, Josea, Lauren, Heidi, Jeff & Robin, and so many more...this one's for you.
3. Really put my family first. I keep saying I do (or at least I intend to), but the realities of working sometimes get in the way. I have to make decisions on a daily basis that keep my personal desires in check with the way I live my life. This is a biggie for me. It's for you, Chad, G & E. Hold me accountable. I love you.

What are your resolutions for the year? Please share!

Christmas letters: Delight or annoyance?

One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is getting cards and family letters in the mail. I love going to the mailbox to see who has sent something each day. It just makes me happy.

We don't always have enough time or energy to keep in touch personally with each and every one of our friends and family members several times throughout the year, so I especially enjoy reading the letters people send about their travels, their adventures, their kids. We send a letter, too, something we started when our first-born child entered the world.

But it seems not everyone likes to receive these letters. Last week, my friend Robbie sent me a link to a blog from the Wall Street Journal (read it here) that talked about holiday letters, and boy, was it interesting! Many of the people despise these little treasures, believing they're just a convenient way to brag about one's kids. You should read a few of the responses....people are passionate about these things!

Then yesterday, I was watching some of The View while finishing my lunch, and Whoopie was less than excited about the letters, too. Joy was just as annoyed about them. What gives?

In this crazy world, when sending an e-mail to a distant friend -- a true, heart-felt e-mail about our personal lives -- might happen just once or twice a year...and when phone calls are even fewer and farther between...I think these Christmas letters are golden. I have several friends whose letters I absolutely love to read each year. I look forward to them. (Keep 'em coming, Kelly, Kathy and everyone else!)

So why do people have to be so annoyed? If they seem too braggy (I am almost sure I made up that word!),  I think you should just smile (laugh if you feel the need) and be thankful that you were included on the list in the first place. Am I right?

As for us, I hope our letter doesn't seem like bragging. That's not at all the intent. I want to share with our friends and family members our happinesses; I'm not going to fill our letter with depressing news and downsides of life, just to avoid sounding like I'm bragging. It's supposed to be cheery and happy at the holidays.

Yes, I realize a personal phone call would be better. But there are at least 60 people on our list (and that's after taking off about 10 that I didn't think were at all interested this year), and I don't have the time or the energy to make 60 phone calls to share our life stories for the year (and hear theirs in response!). And it's somehow more personal than a mass e-mail. So I'm going to stick with it. Like it or not!

PS If you receive our Christmas letter in the mail this week (they're just going out today...ugh), yes, I know there are two typos on my side of the letter! Oh, I hate that! :-)   

The right sacrifice?

Do I sacrifice the success of my business?
Or my family time?
Someone help!

When I wandered out on this freelancing adventure back in January, I knew I (and our family) would be making some sacrifices. I knew I'd be sacrificing my regular paycheck, my paid vacations, my paid professional development,the camaraderie of fellow staff members  and potentially even our family's financial stability, among other things.

What I thought I was gaining for that risk was the increased time with my family, more free time and less work-related stress. But as it turns out, that's not the case at all. In addition to the sacrifices listed above, I am now in a position to have to make a decision about sacrificing these very important quality-time benefits.

I could use some advice.

Right now I work three days a week kid-free (kids are in day care and/or "real" school), and the rest of my work is completed in the evenings, on weekends, during the kids' nap times on Mondays and Fridays, and any free moment I can find. It's stressing me out not to have free time to myself, and worse, to have my kids on Mondays and Fridays begging me to play with them and having to reply, "I'm sorry, sweetie; I really have to work."

Last Friday and early today, E was seriously begging. She was pulling on my arm and inviting me to her picnic dinner with plastic food and paper Strawberry Shortcake plates on the living room floor, lying under my barstool while I worked and asking me to color with her, and asking me to sit on the couch and watch a movie. Each time I had to say no. This morning, G was doing the same, wanting me to play Legos with him or play a game with him...just play with him.

It completely breaks my heart to not be able to do that.

For a good few months now, I have been considering making a change to my work arrangement in order to hopefully gain a little more of my free time back and have more time to devote to my business. But the choice isn't an easy one, and I've been battling this question for long enough. It's time for me to really make a decision. Ugh.

From a work perspective, it's clear I need to add a day to my workweek schedule when the kids are in day care and I can have some dedicated time to work at home. If I don't, I will have to start saying no to clients. To do so would be kind of like freelancer suicide in some ways; I'd be destined to turn away these clients for good, and my business is sure to dwindle over time. After all, if they can't count on me to reach their deadlines and do projects on their schedules, they're sure to never call me back. If I want to keep this business going strong - and make this flexible work arrangement last as long as possible - saying no is not an option. But to say yes to everything is its own challenge. It's not really feasible within my current working hours.

But from a family perspective, this is a really tough one. I really want more time, not less, with my kids. I want them to know that their mommy put them highest on her list when they were growing up. I want them to know that if you set out for something you really want, even if it's scary or risky, it can work if you try hard enough.

But I also want them to have fond memories of our time together, not remember that mommy had to work a lot and couldn't make time to play with them when they wanted to. I really wonder if either of them right now has any clue that I want our time together to be a positive thing. They're kids, not reasoning adults, so they probably feel frustrated and hurt more than comforted and loved. That's not good for anyone, right?

So which sacrifice is the right one? Do I sacrifice the success of my business (and potentially the longevity of a working arrangement that allows me flexibility to take care of my family on my own schedule)? Or do I sacrifice a little bit more of my family time, in hopes that, if I do, I'll be able to make the time I have left with them true, quality time (and save a little more of my sanity in the meantime)?

Does anyone have any advice? Please click on "Comments" right under this message, and share your thoughts - positive or negative - about gaining another work day. I need some help with this one! Anyone??!!

E's tooth: An update

Just a quick note for all of you wondering out there. Little E has gotten lucky, it appears! Her tooth seems to be fine after our little incident last week. Whew! It's a slightly different color than the other front one, but I think we'll get lucky over all. She'll just have a crooked front tooth for a few years. We can live with that!

A little boo-boo for E today

Well, our adorable little girl might have a few toothless years of photos ahead of her. OK, not completely toothless, but there's a very real chance she will lose her right front tooth after today.

So excited to be going to the potty (ah, the joys of potty training...OK, so it's really all about the Skittle she gets if she stays dry AND potties in the potty), she ran into the restroom before what should have been her afternoon nap, only to hit the little ducky mat on our ceramic tile floors - which promptly flew out from under her feet - and go flying face-first into the toilet. (Thankfully, at least I think, the lid was down!)

She hit with such a force that it knocked her tooth back at a very unnatural angle and bled for an entire two hours or more. In fact, it's still bleeding occasionally, even nearly five hours later. We ended up being referred for an emergency visit with a pediatric dentist, who told us there isn't much he can do other than a root canal. Even then, for a child her age, the success rate for being able to save the tooth is only 60 to 75 percent. If it fails, they'll end up pulling the tooth. So, he suggested we wait it out. We need to give it a few days and watch for color changes (black, red or purple tooth), signs of infection, looseness or significant pain. If any of those things happen, he'll remove it, and we're destined for having a partially toothless child on our hands until she's at least 5 or 6 years old (when her adult teeth would come in).

Obviously, we're hoping Little Miss E won't have to go through that. The good news is, the tooth did not damage any of her permanent teeth. And there is some hope that the tooth will re-attach itself and be OK. (I didn't know that could happen.) So we'll be watching closely.

These pictures unfortunately don't show very well how far backward it's angled. Hopefully it will look MUCH better tomorrow after the bleeding stops and we can brush her pearly whites. Oh, I sure hope so!