Just Telling Our Story

Saying good-bye to my second home

For honestly as long as I can remember (more than 25 years, I'd say), my dad has lived in Florida. He spent nearly 20 years, I believe, in Sarasota before moving to Bradenton and then Cortez. Then last week, he and my stepmom officially became Coloradans, saying good-bye to the sunshine and gulf waters of good ol' Florida and hello to the mountainside of Ridgway, Colorado.

And for some reason, it really bums me out.

Dad and Anita are in the home-building business, so they have always moved fairly regularly, but generally speaking, west-central Florida has always been my second home. No, we didn't visit often (up to three or four times a year when we were young, but only once a year or so as we've added to our own family here in Indy, due mostly to the cost of airfare). And even though there hasn't been just one house in Florida that holds particularly fond memories, my dad's house -- wherever that might be at the time -- has always been home.

I love Florida. The fresh air, relaxing Gulf views and constant companionship of family have always brought peace to my frazzled being. Maybe it's because it was an instant escape from a sometimes stressful childhood at home, and likewise, an escape from the realities of life as adults and parents, too. It was my own little get-away, one that really didn't cost an arm and a leg to get there (thanks to free room and board at La Casa del Lambert).

For some reason, Colorado just doesn't give me that same, relaxed feeling. I know I must be the only person on the planet who doesn't drool over the breathtaking views and fresh air of Colorado. I'll give you that -- it's beautiful. But it's not relaxing in the same sense that Florida is to me. I don't breathe well (Dad and Anita's new house is more than 8,000 feet -- a mile and a half! -- above sea level), I don't sleep well, and I am terrified of falling over the edge of the highways (these people are crazy to not have guardrails on every inch of these cliffs!). I've never been skiing, I don't like being cold, and I don't know my way around the neighborhood (a term used loosely; their closest neighbor is something like 35 acres away). 

Plus, I feel suddenly disconnected from home in a family sense. My aunt and uncle live in Bradenton, Fla., and until she passed (God bless her soul), my grandmother did, too. My dad's whole side of the family is there. My stepmom's family is, too -- her sister, brother-in-law, niece and parents, even though we don't see them often, are within a short drive away. In Colorado, we have just a single relative, my husband's brother, who lives quite a drive away from Ridgway. I worry that we will not do a good job of keeping in touch with our family "back home" in Florida. They're some of my favorite people in the world.

I don't know if I feel so disconnected because I didn't have a chance to visit the house before the change came, or what. Our last visit there was in April, when we took a trip to Disney World with our kiddos for the first time. (Awesome trip, by the way.) But at that time, Dad and Anita were planning a gradual move over the course of the next couple of years, when they could slowly transition their business from Florida to Colorado. Since then, things have changed rather suddenly. But then again, why should that matter? It's just a house!

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be selfish and whiny with this post. I know my dad and Anita are going through some major changes moving out there, too. They have good reason to do so. (The housing market in Florida is just not a good place to be right now.) Still, I know they're leaving their family behind and crossing their fingers that they have made the right move. They must know they have, so I have to believe that, too.

I just wanted to share my feelings from my limited point of view. From 1,000 miles away from Florida, and 1,300 miles away from Colorado, Indiana seems painfully far away from home, at least in this sense. Ultimately, though, I know that it's the family that makes the home, so I am hopeful that, given time, Colorado will soon become as homey as Florida. I absolutely love spending time with my dad and Anita. And the kids miss their Pa Pa and Omi.

I will miss Florida, no doubt about it. But, on the bright side, here's a chance to get to know a relatively new part of the country (I've only been there once) and introduce my kids to some of the most beautiful mountains and natural beauty the United States has to offer. Who knows? Maybe I'll even give skiing a shot.

Missing my free time

This weekend was fabulous. My mom and my in-laws both last Christmas had the fantastic idea to give my hubby and me kid-free weekend get-aways. This past weekend, we took our second mini-vacation and headed to Brown County. Ah, relaxation.

We got to sleep in. Go into crowded shops stroller-free. Wander through the shops without blocking curious little hands from damaging something breakable. Take our time. Never raise our voices. Go on the harder trails at the state park (or at least plan to...Mother Nature had other plans). Talk to each other about stuff other than our kids.

It was so nice. Quiet. Peaceful. Relaxing. A reminder of what our former lives once were.

But we missed our kiddos.

Now I miss my free time.

I admit it. Kid time is not easy time, fun time, relaxing time. I had the kids home with me today (except for a few hours when my mom rescued me so I could work a while). The day was exhausting. The kids have had a few days of being shuffled around from Nana to Grandma and back again. They're feeling the effects, and so am I. Add to that the fact that I had to cut their naps short to get them up and head to a hair appointment...and then locked us out...again...in the rain...again...and it wasn't a good day. Now I'm up late...again...working, and I'm REALLY missing my free time.

Before freelancing, I worked like crazy, but my time at home was time just for my family and for me. I could leave the work at the office, and whatever didn't get done there, didn't get done until the next day. Once the kids were in bed, I had three hours every night to do whatever I needed or wanted.

Now, my office is constantly within eyesight. My working hours are numbered (I'm only kid-free for three days), and my workload is growing. This adds up to very limited free time. That's why this weekend was such a joy. Free time is a true blessing. Take my advice...enjoy it when you've got it.

Where does the time go?

The "billable hour" is perhaps the single most motivating factor for freelancers. But it seems that no matter how many hours I work, I always end up with 25 to 50 percent of my time each week being "non-billable."

When I share that with friends, colleagues and relatives, I often get a blank stare or a simple, "What could you possibly be doing that isn't billable?" I have to admit that I have been rather shocked, myself, at how many hours a week I am working but not getting paid.

So, what AM I doing? Here's a short list. Considering freelancing? Consider how much time you'll spend on these "non-billable" activities when you set your hourly rate!

• Potty breaks. I know, seems silly. But think about how many times a week you go potty. Multiply by a few minutes each, and you've suddenly lost a bit of time. Not to mention the fact that when I take a potty break, I almost always do something else "non-billable" at the same time - grab a snack, check the mail, pet my animals, call my husband, etc. A good hour or so a week down the toilet, so to speak.

• Work-related e-mails. I check my e-mail quite a bit during the day. I might only spend 15 minutes total on e-mail at a time, but I could have read and responded to e-mails about 10 different projects in that time. If it's a quick response that might only take a minute or so to respond to, I don't charge the client. There goes a good hour a day at least every day of the week.
  

• Professional development e-mails. Because I'm on my own, paying for my own memberships in professional organizations and too poor to buy my way to a conference each year, I rely on free e-newsletters related to my business to keep me abreast of industry changes and new ways of thinking about communications. There goes a good hour a day, too, if I'm not careful.

• Blogging. Yes, this is a fun little get-away for me, but certainly no one is paying for me to do it. Another hour or so a week of working for free.

• Networking. For me, this is a biggie. And for any small business just getting started, it should be. I spend at least two hours and sometimes as many as four hours a week attending my BNI meeting and related one-to-ones. Add to that the lunch meetings I have with old acquaintances in the business to keep in touch and share insights into my professional world. Add to that occasional other opportunities for networking each month. I'd say this time adds up to close to 20 hours a month. Unpaid. That's a significant portion of my 24 to 30 hours a week (96 - 120 hours a month) that I shoot for each month. (Although, in reality, I always work more than that.) That's nearly a full workweek's worth of my time.

• Banking. Granted, if you're smart and have a bank close to your home or office, this wouldn't be a big deal. But I don't. I bank in Avon to take advantage of a great deal at our credit union. But I pay for it by the time I spend on the road to get there and stand or sit in my car in line. There's no such thing as direct deposit in the freelancing world. This accounts for probably an hour a week unpaid.

• Shopping. I have to do it. I need paper, toner, note pads, pens, file folders, CDs, software, paper clips, Rolodex sleeves, staples, stationery, etc., and there is no one else on my staff (since I have no staff) to go retrieve them for me. The closest shopping mecca is Avon. Including drive time, there's a couple of hours a month.

• Phone calls to my hubby, mom, sisters, friends, etc. I think everyone probably makes personal calls from work. And if you're traditionally employed, your boss is paying you for that time. But when it's just me, it's out of my pocket. I can't stop talking (of course!), so there's a good hour a week or so unpaid.

• Prospecting.  Making appointments to meet with potential future clients is time-consuming, necessary ... but unpaid. So is following up on referrals I have received or going after potential new businesses in other ways. The investment is worth it, of course. But there's another two to three hours a month unpaid.

• Volunteer time. I recently volunteered to coordinate an event for my BNI group. I foolishly thought it might take about 15 hours of my time. It took 38, as I recall. A good investment of my time for those who could benefit from my work, but time unpaid nonetheless.

• Updating my Web site. OK, so I'm admittedly behind in doing this. But theoretically, I should be spending at least an hour a week on my site. In reality, it's a good couple of hours a month.

• Getting organized. I love to be organized, but keeping up is time-consuming. There are thousands of e-mails to organize, weed through, delete or print; papers out the wazoo to get into folders; folders to label and file; work samples to track down; work samples to organize so I can find them later; project files to weed through, keep what I need, toss what I don't and move to CD when I'm finished; mileage to track; professional articles to keep or toss or share; and the list goes on. I'd say this could easily be three hours a month.

• Bookkeeping. I do my own invoicing, reconcile my accounts, pay my estimated taxes, pay my credit card bill and do a million other things related to keeping track of my business. It's at least an hour and a half a week.

• Technology stuff. I am my only IT support. I install my software, troubleshoot when needed, figure out networking issues, deal with my Internet provider if it goes down, mess with my file storage and all of the other good stuff. I've been lucky; this might only be about an hour a month.

Non-work-related time during the workweek can add up, too. Here are just a couple of examples.

• Vacations. Ah, two weeks (or more) of paid vacation sounds so great right now. Where's mine?

• Lunch. There's also no such thing as a paid lunch when you're on your own! Most traditional employers include paid lunch hours every day for their employees. That adds up to five hours a week for full-timers. I technically only work three work days, so that's three hours a week for me. I do try to take the break, even during busy times, for my own personal sanity. It's funny how, when you've paid for the computer and know it's the only one you've got, you're not as willing to sit and eat your lunch by it!

• Kid duty. One of the best reasons for doing this job is being home for my kids. I'm home when my son gets off the bus, which is awesome, but getting him home, giving him a snack and making sure he gets down for a nap is all unpaid time during my workweek. Granted, this isn't really "working" time. But it's part of my workday I can't get back. There's another half hour a day, three days a week, four weeks a month. Six hours a month. Unpaid. Add to that the benefit of being able to attend school functions, and we've lost more time. But that's perhaps only a few hours every few months.

• Household stuff. I'm generally pretty good about keeping my working time focused on work and not on the laundry that needs to be done or the floors that need mopped or the toilets that need cleaned. But there are occasionally things I can't ignore, like when I forget to wash my son's uniform the night before for a soccer game, when the animals throw up on the floor (lovely), making phone calls to schedule appointments or debate an insurance bill, etc. It probably only accounts for about an hour a month.

• Personal appointments. We all have them at some point - visits to the doctor, eye doctor, dentist, vet, etc. I tend to schedule them on my working days so I don't have to tote two little kids with me. But guess what...that's unpaid, too. Probably at least three hours every month or so by the time I drive wherever I need to go.

• Lunch with friends. When I was traditionally employed, I might sneak away for an extended lunch with a friend of mine and be gone for an hour and a half or longer. (I knew I made up the time elsewhere, so I didn't sweat over it too much.) Now, if I want to have lunch with a friend, since I live out in another country, it seems, I generally lose about an hour of driving, plus that hour and a half or two hours of sitting and chatting. Love the time. But it's unpaid. There's another three or four hours a month (assuming I squeeze in only one personal lunch and don't have to drive all the way downtown or to the south side).

Wow, I'm scaring myself. OK, so now it's clear why my days and weeks slip by so quickly! These things add up! To 79 hours a month, in fact, for work-related stuff (first section), and 25 hours a month for personal/non-work stuff during the workweek. Oh my gosh. Scary.

Putting it all down makes it pretty clear why I feel like I'm working my tail off and only making half as much as what I was hoping! Then again, I just spent 51 minutes writing a blog entry when I could have been making some money!

Something's Missing Today

Something's missing, and I feel weird today. It's election day, and I am not going to the polls to cast my vote. Unfortunately, it's not my choice. It's not just a day I'm too busy. It's not raining. It's not too cold. There's nothing in my way of voting...

...except for my ultra-conservative hometown.

Danville, you see, has a completely uncontested ballot this year, so everyone who's running (every one of them a Republican) is a shoe-in.

What is wrong with this picture? What's the point? Where are all of the Democrats?

Granted, Democrats have historically not held much power in our little town and county. But it always made me feel good that they were on the ballot anyway - at least trying, standing up for what they believe, even in the face of an almost expected defeat. But not this year. Not one Democrat ran. And I didn't get to vote for them. Where's the democracy in that?